Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
