He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
