sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
