It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
