Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I am one with the molecules
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
