We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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