This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
