She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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