Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
