We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Pooping to opera.
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