wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
