Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
