life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dicks are not precious.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
