I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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