32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i believe in u and ur pee
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