I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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