I am puke
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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