and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
