Ambien. No doubt about it.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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