For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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