You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
