i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
