I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think my fart just growled at me.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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