Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
