i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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