Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
