by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize