I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
