I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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