the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
