I am in a vortex of obligation.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
