Im at strip club and am horny
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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