My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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