Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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