I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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