So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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