Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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