I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
