I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
