Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize