I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
