is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you had me at cake vodka
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
