if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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