what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
