I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
