Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I met the friendliest cop last night
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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