Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
