He is such a slut. More and more my type.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
