SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
