I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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