You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
