My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
